Am I A Girl?

Just to clarify I KNOW I am female before all the smartass comments start rolling in. The question is rhetorical.

This blog briefly follows on from my post regarding superficiality and social media and I’ve had some thoughts going round in my head that make me doubt if I’m letting my gender down by not knowing certain skills.

All of this, of course, stems from social media and feeling inadequate, it’s a good job I stop myself from feeling too bad by reminding myself I’m pretty happy with who I am and what I can do to let social media make me feel bad (unless it’s time of the month then there’s no hope).

So to list some of the things I feel make me question myself against other members of my gender;

  1. Makeup

I do not get makeup. I have had the input of at least 4 different women in my life in terms of makeup.

When I first started wearing makeup (by makeup I mean the full shebang), I wore a powder and you barely knew I had it on as I didn’t like how my face looked with it on.

As I got older I started using liquid foundation, again sparingly and I would pop it on like moisturiser to cover my face. This apparently was wrong so I bought brushes with the guidance of a friend.

Filling in eyebrows has been a recent development. I spent $18 on some Anastasia wax stuff in NYC as my cousin was using it and I thought I ought to be using it too. I think I get a bit heavy handed on one side and not the other, but the gaps get filled in so I guess that’s the point right?

Plus everyone almost all looks the same with makeup on, all nude or smokey eyed, why waste an hour doing that when you have a Snapchat or Insta filter that does it in 3 seconds?

Don’t even get me started on contouring!! Who or why this was invented I’ll never know but I will forever hate you for it. Making me feel bad that I don’t contour or highlight or any of that other nonsense. (Started to sound a bit ranty, lets move on shall we).

I must add I’m in awe of the girls who create these YouTube videos or Insta posts with their ‘everyday’ makeup look. It takes me 20 minutes(ish) to do my makeup for dates and weddings (the only reason to wear it) and I still don’t manage to look as good as them. Also I only have ‘one look’ it’d make the most boring YouTube video ever.

Makeup is definitely an art form and I commend the women who look flawless…I’m unfortunately not that gifted!!

Back in 2009 – I’m sure I had make up … hmmm


From July 2017 – I think I’ve got better?? (Also may have used a filter….the pic of 2009 I’d just come back from Florida so my skin colour has not been surgically altered, its just faded tan!!)

  1. Hairstyles – messy buns

No, just no. You may think a YouTube video explaining how to just pop your hair into a ‘messy’ bun was easy to achieve but no. I can’t even get this right! No matter how hard I try!

I’ve read all the articles on quick up do’s and watched so many YouTube videos, I’ve even watched a friend in real life demonstrate how to do a quick updo in 30 seconds, why then is this so complicated!!!! Also, why can’t I backcomb my own hair to give it a bit of volume, highly frustrating.

My hair is usually one of four ways, down straight, down curly or in a ponytail or side plait (straight or curly). That’s all I know man!

I tried to insert a pic here of my natural wavy hair and I don’t have any!!! So just head over to my Insta page they will be most likely be one or two of me ‘doing the natural look’.

  1. Fashion

I wear jeans and t-shirt in summer, jeans and jumpers every other season. Either that or my joggers for bed or gym gear. 

I have nice clothes I just don’t wear them. 

I like being comfy and the older I get I never want to get out of my joggers, so sue me and keep your trendy scarf dress and heel thingys to yourself. (Half wishing I could look that glamorous day to day and begrudging those women who do!). 

I feel I could dress trendy and all cosmopolitan chic (now I’m a city girl) if I lived in a different country where I wasn’t freezing ALL year round. You try looking trending when you’re always cold!

Me in NYC … it’s just starting to get warm (blogging faux pas … I’ve already used this pic … ah well!!)


Me same day and I’ve warmed up because I was walking…nothing to do with the sun being out.

  1. Body hair

I think I’ve discussed my issues with my body hair on numerous posts. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. Let it all grow man, let it grow.

Also, when I was younger I felt so bad about myself for having arm hair or even tiny hairs on my stomach, that whilst it’s normal for women it took me until my late 20’s and early 30s to figure this out. Damage was done to my self-esteem by that point that even to this day looking at celebrity woman hair free from the neck down makes me feel like I should be covered up all the time….just me or do other people feel like this?!?!?

How are all these women hair free?? Who and where did they go for their laser treatment?! Did I miss out on a deal somewhere? I just don’t believe that woman (Asian women at that) came genetically wired to be hairless.

(NOBODY wants to see a pic of my hairy legs!)

  1. Shopping

If there are any guys who read my posts, yes, I do hate shopping. My limit is 2 hours. I’m also not one to just ‘pop to the shops’ for something to do. It’s dull and boring and I’m stingy with money. Please see point 3. relating to fashion above.

Unless I’m buying books or food I’m not overly interested. I also see it as more of a group activity and something I half enjoy with my sister or friends. Shopping alone is boring.

I would love to hear from other women who suffer from these issues, sometimes feel insecure that the rest of the gender seems to have a knack and being ‘womanly and lovely’ I wish I could, but the word tomboy was created for a reason. I guess I’m a tomboy who wears red lipstick daily.

NB…Am I letting my gender down by not knowing?! If I am I guess I’m okay with it. I’m heading towards 35 I’m too old to learn new tricks ha ha!!

Have a good day xo


  1. October 20, 2017 / 12:27 am

    Awwwwww Mani!
    Let’s go bit by bit!
    1. Yes you are well and truly a girl! I’ve seen you! You’ve got booobies! Not that men don’t! But you’re a girl c
    2. Makeup! I left makeup behind about 2 years ago and wear maybe lipstick and some eyeshadow when I can be arsed!
    3. Fashion – what the hell is that! I’ve had my Bhabhi come shopping with me and I’ve still not worn some of the things “I suited”! Guess my naff style suits me! No put downs on it! But I love it.
    4. Body hair. I used to shave arms, legs, under arms and in my very early days! The flange hairs! Feck me that was stupid! Now, as you well know, I’m hairless! Ha! Some benefits must come out of this journey of mine! Lol!
    5. I used to shop all day when I lived in Leeds. A whole flipping day! I’m Lewis’s and Debenhams and the markets and oMG! How did i do it! I hate conventional shops! I go to M&S for my undies! They have the best for ladies like me! Then my clothes I buy from charity shops! Or primark! I hate paying I’ve the odds when I can get secondhand and they’re just as perfect as new! 2 hours max for me too!!!!
    Have a super weekend honey and keep smiling! You’re doing awesome xxxxxx

    • manihayre
      October 20, 2017 / 10:18 am

      Thank you my love 🙂 Hope you have a good weekend and it’s not too draining much love!! xxxxx

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