I don’t know at what age specifically this phenomenal occurs but at some point in your mid to late 20s there is a moment of realisation that your parents are becoming your kids. It’s not very noticeable at first it kind of creeps up on you, from simple things such as finding yourself telling them off for eating food that isn’t good for them to helping them with their phones and using WhatsApp.
You find yourself slowly but surely making sure they look nice and dress themselves properly. I don’t know if anyone else has this with their mum but in my 20s mine became a taxi driver and started wearing ‘western attire’ as opposed to her Indian outfits, which aren’t suitable for driving in. She started learning more about what suits her body in terms of clothing (now she’s a bit of a fashionista) but there was a learning period. Much like when we were teenagers figuring out colours, tailored, loose as to what fitted our body shape.
With my dad it was to ensure he was eating correctly since his heart scare 7 years ago. Once he joined the gym I found myself asking what he did during his work out (much like a parent would ask a child how school was). The pride on his face when he’d tell me about his leg work out or running on the treadmill made my heart melt.
However, there are times, a bit like children, where our parents are a little annoying and they choose random moments where they know you’re not in the mood or the moment you’ve had a busy day and your tired and sit down for a rest. They start with the incessant questions asking ‘what are you doing?’ ‘are you busy?’ are openers to I have things I need you to do for me.
They are GREAT at choosing the best moments to spring all their ‘admin’ as I call it on me. For instance, when I lived at home and I’d come home early from a meeting that was a 2 hour drive away, that meant that I’m home early to do work for them….erm no mother no I’m not. It could be, as is the case for my parents, doing their accounts, online ordering for my mum, looking up flight prices for potential holidays. Fixing something on their phone that no longer works the way it did before or sending emails for them.
The ironic thing is I could be in the house a couple of hours with my mum, not speaking just chilling out and I’d finally sit to catch up on a show and THAT’s the moment my mum chooses to speak to me. About nothing in particular, it’s just a stream of words heading my way, a cry for attention, a bit like an infant. Sigh! BUT god forbid I try and speak to her during her Indian dramas…double standards man!
Also anytime my mum or dad ring (even now when I’m 93 miles away) ‘is your laptop near you?’ it’s my cue to do their work. In all honesty, it’s not as bad as it was as in the last year before I left home. Like everyone else, whenever I would open my laptop it will be to watch Netflix or write my blog. I tried explaining my blog to my parents, they think I just write stories about them, which in this case is true (oops) so I can do their work if all I’m doing is writing stories. (Insert rolling eye emoji).
So it is just the little things like watching what they eat and helping them dress but also big things like helping them navigate through life without being a hazard to themselves or others and ensuring they grow old gracefully.
I love my parents and they do cute things too. When my mum accidentally swears in English it’s so adorable and makes me giggle and when my dad calls it Wee-Fee instead of Wi-Fi you can’t help but feel your heart melt. Even mine.
NB…anyone have this with their beloved parents?
Have a good day xo