Oddly I’ve had a bit of interest from guys when I posted on social media that I would be writing a ‘how to pleasure a woman’ blog post.
At first, I thought it was a joke or they thought this would be really graphic with porno photos, then it occurred to me they may genuinely need advice on how to please the women in their lives. So for those of you who messaged me hope this blog is helpful….but please oh please DO NOT tell me!
I was debating whether I should write it as I’m a bit of a prude and have issues using the correct terms for the female body, but I’ll do my best.
It’s no secret (even to men) that women talk to each other about their sex lives. I’m sure guys do the same but to what detail and depth they go into I’m yet to find out … if I even want to.
So, following on from that infamous episode of Friends where Monica teaches Chandler the 7 erogenous zones for women I thought I’d do a quick ‘from the mouths of women’ about what they did not enjoy and men assume they do during sexy time.
So many moons ago, a random tried to kiss me and my chin was seriously violated. Guys, stop with the overuse of the tongue it’s not good, leads to rashes and slobbery. If you want to kiss a girl learn to explore and be gentle whilst you get to know what she responds too, don’t attack her face with your mouth and DON’T slobber.
Not necessarily for all girls, you won’t know unless you ask or try but the neck can be a sensitive spot, kiss and bite it as part of your foreplay. Although don’t leave a hickey, seriously woman has to work unless it’s a weekend and not summer where it’ll be exposed … or if she has short hair, basically just no.
Naturally, kissing (can) lead to other things. I don’t know if it’s just a universal fact but surely men rush because they’re overexcited? Well the key is to slow down, based on the consensus of the women in my life. Calm down, like Monica told Chandler you want to take your time and hit each zone, really build the pleasure.
Guys, what is your deal with breasts, they’re not stress balls don’t grab them so hard…this is advice from every woman ever that I’ve spoken to about foreplay. Also…don’t ignore the nipples some can be quite sensitive, enjoy getting your girl excited by exploring BUT again don’t be hard play nice…jeez. If it helps imagine they were your testicles being squeezed. (Eye roll).
The inside of a thigh is almost a trigger point it leads to the magical va jay jay….tease the girl on the inside of her leg.
Now there is a lot to get at here and again, the golden rule, don’t rush. You should also familiarise yourself and let the girl guide you as she knows her body better than anyone. Same thing goes for the clitoris it’s a sensitive spot a lot like the breasts, remember to play nice and be gentle, allow the momentum to build and tease her.
- Hole in One
All women’s bodies are different. It’s not like the movies where it’ll slip right in. Again, explore her body and let her guide you, penetrative sex might not be the best way to pleasure her so continue to hit the other spots mentioned, including the one on her vag, it’s a crucial one even during penetrative sex.
There’s plenty there to be getting on with…also I’m sure there is more I can write based on what input I’ve had but 7 seems a good number and not too complicated for guys to start playing around with.
NB…BJ’s please stop whacking that thing in our faces. I’m yet to meet a girl tell me she enjoys doing it … she will because she wants too and probably loves you but don’t force it on us.
Happy humping xo