This post came to me on a train back from London after a work event, I’ve been back online dating this year and trying out this new site in the last couple of weeks and already within that time it’s given me enough material to write a blog about some of my experiences.
As any single person in their 30’s who doesn’t have a lot of time and thinks occasionally (all the time, when not thinking about my hair) of getting married and settling down with ‘The One’, where do you turn to find anybody – online.
I have been on and offline with regards to dating for 3 years. I meet people and speak to some but it hasn’t lead anywhere, whilst I genuinely believe it is not for me and that I won’t meet ‘The One’ online, it doesn’t hurt but be actively looking does it? As my previous blog stated brown dating is slightly different to white dating, however, having spoken to friends who have also gone down the online dating route I have to say trying to find a normal human being online is hard work regardless of what culture you are in.
This post is just a random selection of my recent experiences with men online (as a woman I can only base it from a woman’s perspective, I’m sure men who are online get their share of crazy ladies, so yes this is an entirely biased blog from a woman’s point of view, sorry, not sorry).
I’ve highlighted a few of the types of guys that I’ve experienced online and some who have tried to interact with me;
What it is about being online that makes it okay to speak to a woman on the phone for the first time to arrange a date and ask if she would, in a subtle way, sleep with you and deal with your frustrations as a man because you’ve been single for so long?
Would you say the same thing to me if I was walking down the street or in a pub when you met me?? For example, a guy recently asked if I would stay at his place should things get serious so we could spend the weekend together, call me old fashioned but I said ‘no’ it was only our first phone call we hadn’t even had a date yet!
I must say at this point that I have a certain set of beliefs and morals that I live by, such as no sex before marriage, but that doesn’t mean I won’t if the circumstance came along with someone whom I loved. Safe to say I did not love this particular guy, a guy I hadn’t even met yet or for him to tell me my thinking was very adolescent and that men have needs. I know men have needs, women have the same needs! My response was to inform him that as someone getting older companionship is much more important and that I thought his thinking was adolescent…also if you’re that frustrated God gave you hands.
I advised my mum I wouldn’t have a date on Sunday and proceeded to tell her why some guys are online her response was hilarious she told me ‘that’s illegal’ I think she meant immoral, bless her.
Yet, this happens quite a bit to me, there must just be something about the one picture I have online and on my profile explaining who I am that attracts the ones that just want sex. Online dating must be the most legal way they can get this. It’s an odd but regular occurrence and just not for Asians.
Yes I’m old fashioned and I believe it should mean something, but if you believe something different please move on and don’t waste my time.
The ‘Hi’ Guys
It still astounds me that a guy thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to just send you a message that says ‘Hi’. Dude this is an online dating site, we’re not in the real world where you can wow me with this line. All this shows me is that you like a ‘pretty’ picture of a girl and haven’t even bothered to read her profile in order to form a sentence or paragraph to woo her. This is not impressive and your message will be deleted, (hmm maybe my response should just be ‘bye’). I had two of these messages this week…one guy even ventured further than ‘Hi’ and put ‘Hello’ woah don’t tire yourself out there! I mean please form a full sentence or dialogue I had to log online just to see that one word! These guys will most likely get put into category 1 ‘sex maniacs’ if I so much as put a ‘Hi’ back.
The Tall Hot Guys
We all have a type, my type is tall dark and handsome, clichéd I know. But I’m a tall dark woman what do you expect of me. It has come to my attention that tall men do not like tall women, or that I’m at least two inches taller than what they would like. Nobody I have tried to have a conversation with and make laugh gives me the time of day (don’t worry this isn’t a pity post, I’m too confident to feel too sorry for myself for too long); so yes it hurts for a millisecond and I move on. My conclusion now is maybe I just have bad taste in men.
As I’ve mentioned I’m quite a tall woman, it states my height perfectly on my profile, but well done to all you shorter men who think you have a chance. I’m sorry I don’t mean to judge but I will not entertain the idea of dating someone 5ft5. Good luck to you though.
Not just the vertically challenged come under this category, it’s also the ones that are my dad’s age, granted I have young parents but still it’s icky. I’m very much for people should love whoever they want and I don’t judge but this isn’t a real world scenario, this is online dating and I’m sorry to say guys women have to be brutal when it comes to the potential daddy of their offspring. It’s an evolutionary thing, watch Planet Earth II and you’ll understand.
These are just some of the categories I’ve come across, I’m sure there are more, I’ll discover them and may write about this again in 6 months when my subscription ends to this site I may have paid for.
NB…I was in a bit of a ‘single person funk’ as I like to call it this weekend but I’m over it, I’m much too funny and weird to be sad about anything for too long hence this post categorising the oddness that is dating online. Guys just a tip, just be normal, women are not that mysterious. Insider tip, if we say something e.g. I hate shopping, or I love food, we generally mean it there are no hidden messages in what we say so don’t think we say one thing and mean another. When I say I love food, it’s more of a command to feed me J
Have a good day xo